Sexed pe Charcha!!!

I think the topic of ‘Sex education in India’s like the relationship status of most male engineering students: It is complicated. Generally, the kids are taught this subject by the teacher from Naughty America. Those who don’t have such resources grow up thoroughly confused about the topic. I think this is what happened with our poor 50-year-old virgin Bhai from Bollywood. He didn’t know about sex, that’s why he was beating his girlfriend and getting on street dwellers instead. He recently compared his training for boxing with rape, equating a heinous crime with a sport. He is not wrong as for many in India, as it is a game where age is no bar, for some in Delhi it is a recreational group activity. Mulayam Singh also enlightened us by saying “boys will be boys; you can’t hang them for a mistake like rape,”.  Of course, you can make mistakes in a ‘sport’ right?, and the best part is you won’t even get a penalty for making mistakes in this sport as the referee is blind and is busy fixing her faulty weight balance.

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Can educating people about sex and making it less taboo a topic help reduce the cases of rape? According to the very educated khap panchayat in Haryana: of course not, it is more to do with the length of the girl’s skirt or the amount of chowmein that the boy had. So this is another Chinese product which is screwing many people in India. I say we have more children and cross China’s population to become no. 1 and teach them a lesson. You say this will further increase the already existing problems of poverty and unemployment? I say collateral damage.

Talking about a different kind of rape: marital rape, the one in which you call your rapist “Aji sunte ho”. The govt. recently decided not to criminalize marital rape. Many Indians think that marital rape doesn’t apply in the Indian context.  They are right, in an Indian context a ‘No’ means ‘Yes’. Remember the extra poori that you are force fed even when you constantly say that you are full? – It is the same thing, except that this is a poori which can keep your stomach full for 9 months. Plus how can it be called rape if it is after marriage, isn’t wife the husband’s property? A property for which instead of paying he gets money. Are people out of their mind asking to criminalize marital rape, what will they ask next – ‘equal rights for men and women’? Stupid right?

Last year, our then-health minister Dr. Hash Vardhan said that ‘sex education’ in school should be banned. There are a lot of positives that can come out of this move, like HIV. And he is a doctor; this speaks volumes about how great our education system in general is. The education system where a girl topper said political science (read prodigal science) is about cooking. I guess she had her priorities set right and knew what she would be doing after growing up.

I see merit in these arguments. Why should we go against our Indian culture and corrupt the mind of young children by teaching them about physical changes, gender identity, consent, awareness about sexual abuse, birth control measures, and prevention of AIDS and STDs? This is not at all required; let us look at some statistics to prove this point. National AIDS Control Organization estimated that 2.39 million people live with HIV/AIDS in India in 2008–09, so what? This would never happen to someone we know. Government commissioned survey has found that 50% of children in India are subjected to sexual abuse. This is alright, so if you have a boy and a girl, there is a good chance that one of them was abused. It can’t be the boy because males cannot get abused (don’t show me the numbers, I know it doesn’t exist), so it will be the girl. And who cares about girl child, Isn’t it enough that she was kept alive, aren’t we asking for too much here?

For every 1,000 girls aged 15 to 19, there were 76 adolescent mothers in India in 2010 compared to16 in Pakistan. See ‘Mauka Mauka’, and you want to take that away from India by teaching our children about birth control measures, no way. People who use condoms should be termed anti-national, like what Gyandev Ahuja, a BJP MLA, was doing when he counted condoms in JNU campus to prove how anti-national the students were. Way to go, Mr. Ahuja, we are proud of you.

What else do you want to teach our children? About homosexuality, and that it is perfectly normal and a choice that an individual makes? Bullshit, it is a disease that can be cured by ‘Anulom Vilom’, or as the Baba on TV would put it ’by eating green chatni with samosa’. And whatever they need to know about this subject, they are well taught by our homophobic Bollywood. I hope whenever they see two men holding hands, ‘eee kanta bhen’ plays in their mind. And if you want us to be more forward, I feel we are getting there.  I see people posting “I am gay” whenever they see someone else’s FB account open, and I feel proud at how progressive we have become.

So, let us put an end to this debate. Even though we are born out of sex, we have no right to teach the children of this nation about it. PERIOD. Sorry, full stop, we are not allowed to talk about periods as well.

– Ankit Khaitan

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