The mobile screen was lit up in an otherwise dark room. The text ‘I don’t think it’s working out anymore. The spark has faded and I feel like I don’t know this person before me’ eerily shone and illuminated her face. Relentless thoughts ran across her mind as she sat listlessly, reading the text message for the 10th time. Nothing seemed as good anymore. She knew the relationship was surfing rocky tide, but that it would end so abruptly seemed to disturb her. She was fraught with sadness and anger and confusion.
Isn’t this something we experience sometime or the other in our lives – endure the pain of a break up.
Relationship is the bond we share with that special someone who makes us feel special. Our world seems to be closely connected with theirs, seeking nurturance, support and love. We’ve grown into a habit of each others’ presence. When a relationship ends, our world seems to come crashing down and we are left with memories that hurt like shards of glass.
The burden of such broken relationships weighs us down subconsciously. No matter who ends the relationship, both persons experience the hurt of rejection at some point. How often do we reminisce of the time spent together, unknowingly going to that corner of the mind which stores our shared experiences. We build castles of ‘what ifs and if only’. Some places make you smile simply because of the moments spent in companionship. Hanging out with friends is difficult either because your partner is also a part of the group, or friends don’t know what to say and do to make you feel better.
One may feel angry or sour about how things proceeded and where they led. Sometimes one can’t help but wonder what went wrong and could have been done better. This unending chain of thoughts tend to make us restless and question ourselves for having given so much to someone who took it all for granted. The inevitable question pops – will I ever fall in love again? Feelings wage a war against rationality, distorting or even creating a new reality within what we call real life. This may occasionally create a deep sense of loss and mistrust, leading individuals to withdraw from social settings. The crying spells and listless disinterest in everything around us seems like a steady state. We may lash out at others for no apparent reason, or may be engulfed in a strong sense of loneliness.
A bad relationship definitely burns you but that very fire also propels you to be a better version of yourself. You live and you learn so you can live more and learn again.
By Ms. Asmita Dalvi