“Emotions are indicators of how safe, stable, and secure we feel,”
The emotions. They make us what we appear. To the people we meet. The people who love us, who hate us, who sympathize with us. These are because of how we react, how we show our emotions. And sometimes some people take too much time to handle these emotions. Every kind of. Like some people can’t handle over joy as they fear some bad things will happen after the very moment. Some people fear being in stress, being under pressure. Being caged in their own emotions. They don’t know what to do if a certain person comes out which makes them uncomfortable, a scenario which they wish to avoid. But we never try to find out the roots of those unprocessed emotions
Our upbringing never helps us to identify the emotions, we are never taught about it so whenever there are some complicated situations, which brings the unprocessed thought, either we start to worry about ourselves or we straightway avoid them. But these emotions are like time bombs which will burst out in a directionless anxiety. Which leads us compulsively being busy or in an addiction such as excessive alcoholism, narcotics, addiction to pornography and many other.
We must have compassion for ourselves. We try to avoid the emotions cause they are contrary to our self image, for example, there is a guy. Who goes to Gym, is very healthy, fit. But he fears to dark places due to his uncomforting. But he never tries to feel that fear as he is “strong” in the norms of society as he is a fit guy. So this can make him depressed and unprocessed about his emotions. On the other hand, A girl who just had a break up took her time to mourn on herself, on the situation she went through and felt miserable up to her mind. But she moved on with this grief and processed all those emotions by giving them time, by letting go the things she couldn’t have control over and focused only on the thing that matters to her.
So there are 4 steps involving this processing of emotions. First is Noticing the emotions. When do we notice that we are having certain emotion? When we are all awake and we are giving attention to ourselves, at that point we feel all the sensations, all the energy related to emotion. This being aware and conscious about the emotion is called being Mindful or having Mindfulness. Suppose you’re invited in a party where you find your friend turned into foe. Who betrayed your trust. You start to feel anger, feeling of being mistreated and you notice all these emotions within you and keep yourself calm by noticing them.
Second is naming the emotion. You’re having a good chat walk with your loved one and suddenly a person comes and starts talking with them and by looking at them you start feeling uncomfortable and a little flat in the stomach, the mind is thoughtless and all your focus is on their chat. What does this emotion means? This insecurity, a type of fear. And so you have to recognise what kind of emotion you have and name it and so that you can distinguish between them.
Third is Accepting the emotions. Sometime we fail to deliver ourselves as we expect to. We are not a machine to deliver 100%. But due to societal pressure, expectations we try to run the race which we are not meant and we fail. So after that, we feel misery, feeling of being clueless . and we try to avoid those sad emotions. But we must accept them, spend a little time with them to process them and make their effect less.
And the last one is acting on the emotions. The crucial part. When we come to know that there is a person you don’t like at all is going to be with you. That hatred for the person must be processed with finding the root cause of hatred and then working on that hatred to lower it down and keep normal neutral emotions for the person. And that makes us at peace to cope up with the environment and work.
Emotions are literally simple. But we make them complicated by over thinking or misunderstanding them. Processing with them will only help us. to live life happily and with our own norms.
-By Prathamesh Bartakke